Painfully Dense
by fujikawaii10346
Summary: "He looked England straight in the eye and in a very serious tone asked 'Can I take my pants off'"  One sided loves, unspoken affections and alcohol. You never know what might happen! Fail!Fluff, Beta'd, possible OOC. C&C? US/UK Alfred x Arthur.


A/N: It's been a long time since I've posted anything on here... And I've been getting into Hetalia recently... Plus I've been trying to avoid any grades lower than an A so I'm focusing on school... And I want to start on two new songs for the piano (Both of which have voice parts, [though optional])... And on top of that, add Kumon and Kenpō! ...So expect very little (If anything), from me anytime soon.

Warning: Contains yaoi, (Us/Uk). Has been beta'd by a friend, but he doesn't really know Hetalia, and just looked for spelling/grammar errors. Still looking for someone who is willing to. Preferably someone that I already know. If not, then we _should_ be friends, then you can beta for mee~!. May contain slight OOC'ness.

Summary: One sided loves, unspoken affections, painful denseness and alcohol. You never know what might happen ;]

Disclaimer: Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use

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"Hey Iggy, next time you plan to drink this much, why don't you plan ahead and set up a carpool with Francis? Or even Ludwig, Feli* and Gil? Your houses are closer to each other..." A fairly annoyed America grumbled as he dragged himself, and an intoxicated England up the front porch steps.

He knew that the other man was out cold from the amount of alcohol that said country consumed at the party... Actually, he was piss drunk before half the people even got there! And the only one considerate enough to take him home was Alfred**.

So, the two of them stood there at the front door, one awake and the other... Not so much. America reached into England's left front pocket to grab the house keys, but found no such items. What he discovered instead, was that England had no such pocket on that side.

...And that he was going commando.

Alfred instantly pulled his hand out and took a deep breath, trying to keep the already-there blush from going any farther across his face. He gaped at the man who was precariously hanging onto him by a limp arm; at a loss for words, he finally settled on: "Hey, where your keys at?" Not really expecting an answer back.

But since the other man never ceased to amaze, Alfred got an answer anyway; "Other... Pocket..."

"Oh, you answered. Okay then..." The American mumbled as he reached over to the aforesaid pocket. Unfortunately, he also had a few drinks in him and stumbled. He ended up on the ground, his backside aching badly. Not to mention Arthur's face right... _There_. Of all places, _there_.

He immediately scooted back a few feet, leaving England face down on the floor; 'Okay... Come on. You can do this without anymore crap happening. I'm the hero dammit!' He silently screamed at himself as he tried to regain his breath.

Alfred turned the unconscious England on his back and grabbed the keys from the right pocket***, unlocked the front door, and stepped inside. His hands groped around for a light switch, and finally found it. The bright flipped on and stung his eyes, "Goddammit..."

He turned away from the harsh light and went back to the man who was lying on the front porch; pausing, he straddled the other blonde and leaned over close so that his forehead rested against the Englishman's. Noses touching and lips just a few millimeters apart. He gazed fondly at the older man's face, guard down and completely vulnerable. He hadn't seen that face for hundreds of years...

Alfred noticed that his eyes were getting misty and that his now fogged up glasses were slipping off the bridge of his nose. Completely ignoring Texas, he smiled at the face under his. Not an obnoxious grin like the ones he usually had, but a sincere, soft smile that had eluded anyone's gaze for a long time.

"You're such an alcoholic sometimes. But for some reason, I want you to be my alcoholic... Why can't you just realize that I love you? I always have and I always will! And everyone calls me the dense one. Don't you know that that's why I left?" The lump in his throat reduced his voice to nothing but a whisper, "I wanted you to see me as an equal..." His glasses fogged up more as tear slid down his cheek and splashed onto the other man's face.

Alfred sat up again, took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes, regaining composure. He took hold of both of Arthur's hands and pulled him up as he stood; "Up and at 'em Iggy, we still need to get you into bed," He said, returning to his regular upbeat personality as he crouched down and carried the Englishman into the house piggy-back style.

~One flight of stairs later...~

Finally, they were almost in the bedroom. "Gawd, Iggy!" America hissed as he opened the door and made his way to the bed, "How much do you weigh?"

Though it was just a sarcastic comment, he earned a grunt, and a light kick to his side in response.

Once they were close enough to the bed, Alfred laid Arthur under the covers and leaned in, but just as he was about to say goodnight, a pair of arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer, and just barely above a whisper, he heard; "Don't go... Stay here... Miss you..." The words trailed off as England pulled the younger nation in for a soft kiss.

America stood there stunned for a second, until his instincts kicked in and he pulled away, "What the hell? Iggy, I think you've had a little too much to drink. I'm gonna go home now. I'll call you in the morning to check up you, 'kay?"

And just as he started walking away, he heard a soft whine. Alfred turned around to see a pouting Arthur, head peeking out from under the covers, "I told you, don't go... Just stay here with me or else I'll miss you..."

He stood there speechless for a few seconds. "Uhh... Okay? I'll be over there then," he said gesturing to the chaise at the foot of the bed.

"No."

"Where do you want me to sleep then?"

The Englishman didn't say a word, but just pointed to a spot on the large bed next to him.

Alfred blushed, but he quickly masked the bashfulness with something that the painfully clueless America would say, "Why? What if you throw up on me?"

"Dear poppet, don't you know me better than that? You know that I can handle my alcohol fairly well. And, I'm not that drunk anymore," England started, as he sat up in bed, "all I have to worry about is the bloody hangover I'm bound to get in the morning."

"Wait... Whaat?" The look on America's face was priceless, "You're sober? Then why didn't you walk up the damn stairs yourself? Do you know how heavy you are?"

"I told you that I'm not that drunk anymore. Keyword 'anymore.' You see, I was quite wasted till you unlocked the door. I regained my consciousness right about then... I was going to tell you that I was okay and that you could go home, but then you started talking... I must say, that confession was quite moving... And it was so sweet how you were talking like I couldn't hear anything. At that point, I didn't want to ruin anything, so I kept up the charade and acted like I was asleep. Also, you're one to talk! I'm not the one who's constantly stuffing burgers and milkshakes down my gullet!" he paused clearing his throat, "But I digress; are you staying or not?"

The other man's face still had the same incredulous expression. After about ten of the longest seconds in the history of man, he finally spoke: "Sure?" he answered uncertainly as he climbed over the other nation to get on his side of the bed.

Alfred settled in as Arthur flipped the lights off and got under the covers himself. At first, they just laid there in the awkward silence, facing opposite directions.

Alfred was about to sigh when he heard Arthur talk in a tone of voice he hadn't heard for so long; "Why didn't you tell me before?"

At first, he thought that Alfred had fallen asleep, because of the long silence, but the reply did come eventually, "Because..." He half-whispered.

England turned around to face the other man's back and put a hand on his shoulder, urging America to face him. Fortunately, the younger of the two complied with the request.

"Because...?" England urged, curious to hear the rest of the confession.

"I was nervous..."

"Why?," he asked, but then remembered his own situation. "You thought I wouldn't return the feelings, didn't you..."

A nod was the only reply that came from the other.

"That's why everyone always calls you dense. I have to admit, I didn't know about your feelings, but everyone else certainly knew about mine. Everyone except the one whom they were directed at... Even Prussia, as self-centered as he is, told me that it was obvious."

Alfred stayed silent, taking in all the new information. Finally, he opened his mouth after about a minute or so; "So... Does that mean you like me too?"

Arthur kept a stoic face for a moment, but suddenly shook his head.

Alfred felt his heart shattering into a billion tiny little dust particles, "O-Oh..." He looked down dejectedly. He probably would have started crying if not for Arthur clearing his throat. Alfred looked at the other man with a saddened look to his face.

Arthur looked back with a hardened expression that quickly changed to a soft smile, which eventually turned into a grin, "Dolt, I don't like you..." He leaned in close... "I love you, you idiot!" he said in a matter-of-fact tone against the lips of his former charge.

Alfred stared at the other man, and stammered, trying to form comprehensible words; "S-So..." his eyes trailed down to the surface of the bed, 'Damn I feel like a freaking schoolgirl talking to her crush? Agh! I. Am. The. Hero! I have to act like it!' "Umm..." He took a deep breath and flashed his best trillion-watt smile, continuing: "You wanna [Obscure words]?"

But he was cut of by the sound of fireworks in the distance. "What the..." He was about to ask, but then saw the clock on the nightstand. America took this chance to close the gap between them, capture his lips, and ultimately him into a passionate kiss.

Arthur, surprised at first, was not anymore. He cupped the younger boy's cheek before tangling his fingers in his hair, lightly tugging at it.

Then, as suddenly as he initiated the kiss, Alfred pulled away. They both laid there, trying catching their breath, when Alfred turned to his former guardian and greeted him; "Happy New Year Iggy..."

"Happy New Yea... Wait, it's only midnight?"

Alfred chuckled, "You, Prussia and Germany started drinking before everyone else. The three of you were passed out by 10, and I offered to take you home."

"Of course..." Arthur chuckled, "Sorry for dragging you away from the party..."

"Why are you apologizing? So I missed a party! If you ask me, this is a lot better than getting drunk and trying to keep France from molesting people!"

"Yes. You are right. This is a lot better..." He said softly, "So... What was that you were trying to ask me before the fireworks?"

"Oh, umm... I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go out sometime. Umm, with me? Somewhere?"

England chuckled again at the rare image of a flustered America, "Sure."

"Yes!" England sighed as the regular America came back, "How 'bout... Tomorrow? My place? Picnic in my garden?"

"Sounds great," he smiled.

"Woohoo!" America celebrated. After a minute or so of this, he stopped and looked England straight in the eye and in a very serious tone asked: "Can I take my pants off?"

"What!" Arthur exclaimed in a very un-Arthur like way, too surprised to even correct the American on his improper grammar, "No!"

"Aww!" Alfred then put on his very best pouty face and puppy dog eyes. The only expression in the world that would let said man get anything he wanted from Arthur. 'It's been working since the 1700's****' he once said... "But Engwand, it's uncomfortable in these clothes!"

Arthur stared at America's pouting face, the one that looked so much like the one he remembered from way back then, 'That was a dirty trick,' he thought. But even so, he got up and started walking (albeit unsteadily...) to the bathroom/closet. After a few minutes he came out (sans shirt) carrying two pairs of pajamas. He tossed what looked like the bigger one to the Alfred as he himself sat down on the bed and started buttoning his own shirt.

Once finished, he stood up and undid his belt. But just as he was about to pull his pants down, he froze, remembering something important; "Alfred, Love... would you do me a favor and close your eyes for just a moment please?"

"Hmm, why?" Alfred asked as he pulled the oversized Union-Jack t-shirt over his head.

"Oh, well... Erm..." England blushed furiously as he looked down, 'I don't um... Seem to be wearing any pants under these trousers..."

"Err... What?" Alfred asked, confused with the foreign words at first, but slightly smirked as the truth slowly dawned on him; "Oh yeah! I know. Ha, nice idea with cutting the whole pocket off instead of just a hole in the bottom," he winked suggestively.

Arthur's eyes widened as he looked up to stare at America, "H-How did you know about that?" He just barely managed to stutter.

"Oh? I stuck my hand in your front pocket to look for your keys," Alfred stated as if he were talking about the weather.

If possible, the Englishman's face grew two shades darker than before. This time, he couldn't make out any words, and just stammered, trying to form words, but just failing miserably.

"It's okay, you can change in front of me! It's not like I haven't seen it before!"

Arthur's eyes widened even more, but this time, he was able to form words; "B-But that was when you were a still just a little colony! I just did that so I could give you a bath and actually keep my clothes dry*****!"

Alfred chuckled, "Oh come on, loosen up! I'm gonna see it eventually!"

At that point, if Arthur's face got any redder, even Antonio****** would have been tempted to hit that.

"S-Shut up you git!" Arthur cursed as he finally started pulling down his 'trousers'.

Alfred licked his lips and almost slapped the Englishman's little bum. But since he didn't want the other man to react negatively, he held himself back**.

Finally, the aforesaid bum was covered up with the pajama pants once more.

America pouted, but them noticed something, "So, not putting on any underwear Iggy?"

By this time, England had overcome all the embarrassment and answered without any fault, "Why should I?"

America grinned, "That's what I like to hear. Now, why don't you get in bed so we can sleep?" He yawned for emphasis.

"Sure, sleep" the other man said mockingly as he got under the covers and turned off the light.

"G'Night, Iggy," he grumbled sleepily. His seemingly infinite energy used up by the previous events of that day.

"'Goodnight, Love," Arthur whispered as he kissed the sleeping man on the forehead and wrapped his arms around him... The two slept in each other's arms in a peaceful, dreamless sleep waiting patiently for the next morning to come...

* * *

*Short for Feliciano

**Alfred is a good boy~

***Pun somewhat intended...

****Please correct me if I'm wrong with the year.

*****Baths together. Need I say more?

******SpaMano or ItaliaCest~

A/N: This was meant to be a multichap fluff fic, but as far as I know, it is going to be just a oneshot. Oh, and a little fyi... I really /did not/ want to refer to Artie as Al's former guardian... That's just wrong considering everything...

Fun Fact(1): This is the longest chapter I've ever written! It is (Apparently...) 3,060 words~ (Woot woot!)

Fun Fact(2): I started writing this on the afternoon of the 1st... Yes, it seriously took me this long just to edit and post it. (Seemed alot longer...)

Fun Fact(3): I really wanted to use the phrase "raging boner" but I couldn't find a place to insert it... *Cries* Maybe next time! ;] Hehe...

Please R&R, C&C... Whatever you wanna do. Anons are okay just as long as you stay civil and keep the flames on your stove or Bunsen Burner or lighter and out of my review page.


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